its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
zippers are such a cool invention
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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