he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
