I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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