i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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