I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize