There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
