Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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