john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
