What did we do last night that was yellow?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
