He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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