ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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