Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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