I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
