me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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