Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
