i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
