Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
