I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
