A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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