In America we eat man semen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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