OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
