New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
