Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
