He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
