About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
