Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dignity is for republicans.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
