I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize