You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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