We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
