I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize