Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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