This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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