Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
