marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
