Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
These tits shall not be calmed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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