Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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