I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
