I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
do herpes really smell.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
