remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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