Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
