i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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