Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
