I hate your face
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
