Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
