I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
