I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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