U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
