Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
