help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
