It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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