my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
