DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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