I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
