Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
