he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
