Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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