just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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