More tranny stories later!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
