Got a toothbrush?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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