she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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